Mainstream lagers are typically the entry beer for most new drinkers. Many people think of Corona or Molson Canadian or Bud Light beers when they think of their first beer. These light lagers have their place in the world of beers, as do I in the world of dating. Over the course of my dating journey I’ve come to realize that I am an excellent entry date for those new to online dating.
I have matched with many guys who just recently got out of serious relationships or have decided to finally take the plunge into online dating. I don’t always know this at first but eventually it becomes clear that they are new to this strange way of meeting a potential partner.
One such match is “Plumber”. He wasn’t my usual type physically and his personality was a bit goofy which I really really liked. Our conversations were easy and he was incredibly sweet when I got into a car accident while we were talking (don’t worry I’m okay!). We met for a casual drink and stayed way later than I expected. The conversation in person was just as easy and I found myself laughing more than I had in a while. During the date Plumber dropped breadcrumbs that he was just out of a serious relationship and he was pretty new to the online dating scene. I had had such a good time that I ignored this red flag. We spent a few really great dates together going for hikes, cooking for each other, and watching ridiculous things on Netflix. While we were talking and seeing each other he was in the process of restarting his life after the break up. He had quit his job, was moving back home with his parents and had no plan. Another few more bright red flags on fire that I happily ignored. Oh, but he made me feel good about myself, he was attentive and supportive and funny. And I guess I boosted his confidence too. At first he said he couldn’t imagine kissing anyone after his ex, let alone sleep with anyone else. Took care of those no problem and I was so good at pumping his tires, that he had a different girl over at his place the next night.
That was a flag I couldn’t ignore, so I called it. I was really proud of myself for telling Plumber that I didn’t want to be casual with him and that conversation ended things. I handled it beautifully until a few weeks later. It had snowed overnight and I was really excited about the snow, another guy had just bailed on dinner plans so I was vulnerable. Plumber and I started chatting on Snapchat of all platforms and within a couple of hours we were making a snow dinosaur and I was feeling good and laughing. That was short lived, when we were having some food and he was making plans for a date the next day. I backslid. Not proud of it. I don’t regret helping him get over his ex and I don’t regret the fun we had. I regret getting hurt.
Plumber is one example of probably 20 guys like this I have been on dates with. Recently it was a teacher that thought he was ready, met me and realized that he wasn’t. I’ve been new to online dating and I know that everyone is at a different stage in their dating journey. I have learned to appreciate my role in their lives and the traits that put me there. I am patient and understanding and it is in my nature to be nurturing and caring. I think that is why I end up attracting men that are new to online dating because I am not scary or intimidating. These traits are a source of pride for me. They have afforded me wonderful friendships and a good career as a leader and teacher, and they make me feel good about me. Yes, many of these circumstances have left me shattered, like Plumber, but that doesn’t make me any less patient, kind, caring or approachable. It makes me the light lager of dating. So if you or someone you know is getting back into dating, feel free to message me!
Photo credit to Forever Lost in Travel
While I am the lager of the dating world, I’d like to think I’m a little fancier than Corona or Canadian (no offence to these beers at all! There is a place in the world for them!), more like a craft lager. One craft lager that I enjoy drinking on a patio at a local spot or from the liquor store near you because it is not available at the brewery, is the Landing Lager from Barnside Brewing Co. in Delta. It is light and refreshing and is just delicious easy drinking. Barnside Brewing Co. also makes some delicious beers like the Honeycomb Pale Ale which is my favourite. The brewery is in a typical big read barn in the middle of farm country, but don’t let that fool you, the beers are complex and well rounded and they have a great spread of snacks like the pretzel and a grilled cheese! Next time you’re in the Delta check out Barnside Brewing Co. and a few others I’d recommend on the BC Ale Trail’s site.