The world of dating has changed so much with the invention of the dating apps. Quick and varying levels of companionship is easier than ever to find (save for COVID). With a few swipes, you can have a date and a fun evening without strings.
I am usually the girl that falls hard and fast for guys. My poor friends have to help me mend a broken heart more often than not. That being said, it may be surprising to know that I have had a few one-night stands or at least attempts and have tried the new trend of “casual dating”.
My first one-night stand was a disaster! I was young and angry with a bartender boyfriend who broke up with me so I found the hottest guy in the bar I could find and started making out and eventually brought him home. I sincerely hoped I would never see him again, waved him goodbye and off he went. For a week or two, and then he showed up at the bar and again he came home with me, now he was no longer a one-night stand. I was already terrible at this. Eventually his friends met my friends and in the end two couples happened. We were in the wedding party of both weddings. Not a great start to this casual thing.
My next attempt was in university and I had improved somewhat in my casual skills. It only happened one time but he lived in my building on campus so I had to see him a lot. Would not recommend.
Skip ahead to current times with dating apps and swiping and “looking for” sections. I appreciate a guy that puts that he is looking for something casual on his profile, sets us up nicely for expectations. It gets even more clear when they put it in the written section. Thank you to all the guys that do that!
I matched with a guy on Hinge in my early dating days, which is typically where people go for more substance, and our date was great. We started at drinks and it was going so well that we moved onto some food at a second location. I had heard about these dates but up to this point, I had never been on one! He eventually told me that he was not looking for a relationship and could not commit at the time. I was looking for something more serious so it kind of finished up there but we kept in touch on social media and a few years later we reconnected in DMs (for the older folks in the crowd that means direct message) for something casual and he’s still around. Do not discount those DM slides.
I have used Bumble twice for casual fun and the first time was reckless and I would not do it like that again. It ended up ok thankfully, but it could have easily ended with my organs being sold on the black market. I swiped on a very attractive pilot who was on a layover (this is pre-COVID). Just a day or two in town before heading back out, perfect! We met at a pub near where he was staying and went back to his room. No one knew where I was, who was with, what I was doing, and I had matched with him and met him in less than 2 hours. I have never seen or heard from him since, I hope he is well. Finally, a successful one-night stand! But ladies, stay woke! Make sure someone knows where you are!! I wish I had told a friend, even if she judged me (she probably would not) someone would have known where I was and that I was ok.
My second attempt at a casual one-night stand on Bumble was not as clear cut as I was expecting. His profile was honest about being in town for just a short period and he had all my kryptonite in one casual bundle. From his job to his watch. We met for a drink and the chemistry was off the charts! We went to his room and I fully expected to leave either later or the next morning and never see or talk to him again. I emotionally prepared myself for it. He suggested we stay in touch and while I have not seen him since, we do still talk and he is still the complete package of all my dating weaknesses.
I am not the greatest at casual one-night stands, I know that. Based on the attempts above, I think I am actually kind of terrible at it. I applaud those who can be in casual things, just hook up, or do the friends with benefits. In an attempt to go with the flow of the dating world these days, where there is far less commitment and more grey area. Here are some things I’ve found useful when trying to be casual: setting, communicating and holding boundaries, keeping your mind out of the future, and leaving the apps open. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with casual and no one will get hurt so long as everyone is completely open and honest about their feelings.
A brewery that plays with my heart in a casual way is Strathcona Beer Company. Strathcona Beer Company can be found as part of the Yeast Vancouver Ale Trail on BC Ale Trail’s site. They have a great selection of core beers and have something for everyone, but Love Buzz is by far my favourite and it is fickle. They change the flavour of this delicious sour regularly so you cannot get too attached to one and if you do, it disappears leaving you heart broken, and the next one is just as good or better! Some of my notable flavours are the Imperial Blood Orange Sour, the Strawberry Grapefruit and the one they have on right now Tangerine Creamsicle Sour.