A few years ago, I matched with “Yale” on a dating app and we had good conversation for almost a month online but we hadn’t met yet. He disappeared shortly after in the Fall and I shrugged it off. Fast forward to December and a group of friends and I are out at a club downtown, dancing and drinking and I see Yale from across the room. Remember I had not met him in person and was going purely on the photos passed back and forth while chatting. I don’t have an issue with approaching a guy in regular circumstances and certainly not while drinking, so I walked up to him and asked if his name was Yale and if he remembers talking to me and if he wanted to dance. He said yes, we made out on the dance floor and exchanged numbers. We went on a few dates, had Boxing Day dinner together, and he invited my friend and I out for New Years Eve.
On the 31st we dressed up and hit a local brewery with him and his friends for early festivities. Yale’s friend mentioned a house party and told us to head to the liquor store and grab some drinks and Yale would text us the address of the house party. Off we went, tipsy, to the liquor store and bought some supplies and I texted asking for the address, no response. We headed back to my place to wait for the address, still nothing and I knew something was amiss. He was not going to text. We were not welcome at the party. Eventually he messaged and said that his ex was at the party and he didn’t feel comfortable with a potential new girl there too. My friend and I blasted some Miranda Lambert and danced around my apartment until midnight. Not quite the night we had planned but a good one none the less.
This holiday season I had the joy of explaining the “u up” text disguised as “Merry Christmas” to my mom. She was perplexed by the notion that a guy would come back after months of silence just to send a “Merry Christmas” text but it certainly happens. I had the distinct privilege of receiving five such texts this year. There is always the debate over if they deserve a reply or not, and what to say.
I made a mistake early in the season by “loving” all of the posts on my wall wishing me well and then it happened. The dreaded post that makes you want to throw your phone across the room. That one person that still stings. What to do?! “Love” it like everyone else? Ignore it or “like” it instead (but then it sticks out)? Delete it and prompt a message along the lines of “hey you deleted my post!”? I opted to put that little heart so he would be the same as everyone else.
Both Yale and the ghosts this year remind me that there is a reason these people are in the past. There is a reason they did not work out the first time around. In 2021 my goal will be to avoid those ghosts and leave them where they are.
A truly delicious beer to enjoy while reflecting on these ghosts is another hazy IPA from Lighthouse Brewing with a perfect name, Ghost Ship Hazy IPA. Prior to trying Ghost Ship, I was strongly adverse to IPA’s and would stick with wheat focused beers. A friend suggested I try this while we were doing the BC Ale Trail Victoria Trail and I was instantly a fan. It’s balanced and has the required hoppy bitterness of an IPA but without the aftertaste. The haunting label will keep my ship right and avoid replying to those “u up” texts in the future.