I met a wonderful, thoughtful and good-looking guy through the app, and he answered my opening question perfectly! His favourite shape of pasta is dinosaur pasta, MINE TOO! We call him Dinosaur Dad. So if he’s so great, that’s the end of the blog, right? Read on to find out! Our first date at a brewery was awkward in a charmingly cute and shy way. He nervously talked all night and barely asked me a question. Turned out he hadn’t been on many dates because of his parenting schedule and a busy work schedule, so I was a lucky girl to get some of his precious free time. We both love craft beer and hiking and the outdoors. Check check!

We went on a big date to a few local tourist attractions. Through my job, I have free access to a touristy gondola and a historic site. Here is a good time to tell you that I am petrified of civil engineering. I am so scared of bridges, tunnels and, above all else, gondolas. Now this gondola is over an area called Hells Gate along the Fraser River in BC. So not only am I going to be in a glass bubble suspended in the air by just a couple of cables, but if it detaches for whatever reason, we will be dropped straight into the most treacherous part of this massive river. So treacherous that even fish don’t survive without fish ladders (look those up, they’re cool). Needless to say, the hourlong drive out there was full of anxiety and psyching myself up. He put on country music to help put me at ease and packed some craft beers and snacks for the trip. So sweet! We did the gondola and I was so brave! We had a great time exploring and then headed to a spot along the river for a beer and some snacks, then to the historic site and a brewery. By this point I was really feeling tough. I suggested we do a hike nearby that would end up an abandoned trestle bridge. So cool! We finished our drinks and set out for the trailhead. We hiked until we got to a really technical part where it was super narrow and steep with just a rope to climb up. I had maxed out my brave and could not do it. I cannot properly express how patient and kind this man is. I was almost paralyzed with fear of falling off this ledge and he was so steady and supportive. He never once made me feel stupid or silly, even though I made myself feel that way. He got me off the ledge, literally, and then took me off-roading to a spot on the side of the river and just hugged me while I calmed down. Marriage material right?!

Like I mentioned, he loves the outdoors. Hiking, fishing, hunting, camping. All of it. So after a couple of months of dates, we decided to take a weekend camping trip. I got my first ever fishing license! He organized the site we were going to, the gear, the boat, the trailer. I organized the food and drinks. Perfect division of preparation. We set out and ended up in one of the most beautiful places I’ve been in BC. It was remote but still a campsite with pit toilets and water stations and a stunning lake that promised tons of fish. Ideal location for our first weekend away. We spent hours out on the water with rods in hand and I learned about worms, sinkers and fish behaviour. It was really relaxing to be out of cell service and talking. This is where we got in trouble. I asked him what an ideal weekend would look like; his response was to gesture around and say “this”. Mine is a weekend away, but I would like to go to cute town, or another city, or, once in a while, camping. His response was “Why would I leave the city to go to another city?” Oh no. I am an avid traveller and my life plans  include seeing two new countries every year. Dinosaur Dad hikes, like HIKES. He goes on massive multiday hikes up the steepest mountains. Comparatively, I am a nature walker. He had every weekend for the summer planned out with fishing or hunting trips and was not really willing to compromise switching a weekend to Whistler or Seattle. This spurred conversations about the future and goals and we were misaligned. The weekend was still such a good time; we sun bathed, explored along the lake, fished of course (caught nothing), and sat around the fire laughing until the early hours.

Once Dinosaur Dad and I got home, we took a few days to really think about the past few months and what the future might look like and mutually decided to end things romantically. Typically, being friends after the fact is tough but with him, it has been easy. We are still friends! We go for easy hikes, check out new beers and breweries, and have helped each other through a few tough life events. I’m incredibly grateful to have met him and to have him in my life even if it isn’t romantically. This is not the end of the blog, yet. 

For this particular story and our mutual love of dinosaurs, I would like to introduce two areas that are rich with dinosaur fossils. The first being in Canada in an area of Alberta called Drumheller. The place has hundreds of dinosaurs around town and a big dinosaur museum. They also have a brewery called Valley Brewing. Their Raspberry Ale was delicious with just enough tartness for me and it had cool dinosaur bones on the can so I couldn’t resist.

The other place is a small town in Utah called Moab. It’s best known for Arches and Canyonlands National Parks but they also have a ton of dinosaur fossils around the area. I had the chance to see some fossilized footprints which were incredibly cool. Moab Brewery serves up a great selection of beers inside their restaurant. I tried a flight of their most popular and my favourite was the Johnny’s Fruitah Fruited Pale Ale. So good I brought home a four pack. Highly recommend a stop in Moab if you’re driving through and stopping for a burger and beer at the brewery.

Can you go back to someone if it didn’t work the first time? Should you? I met a guy on the apps and he started out with a different nickname but earned LCD (short for Last Chance D). This is an example of a short term situationship (certainly not a long term committed relationship).

Our first batch of dates was all within the span of a week and a half. Our first date was a lot of fun for just being drinks and some snacks at a bar. The conversation was fun and flirty and we had a lot in common. The second date was a very rushed coffee one evening after he got off work late. The entire date was maybe 45 minutes but worth it. The third date was to an outdoor fair and we shared all different kinds of foods and I introduced him to churros. Fourth date was dinner at his place. The only table LCD had to eat at was in his hallway, it was cute and romantic. We had a date planned for the next week and he became sick and cancelled our date, he wasn’t too sick to go on a guys weekend at a ski resort just a couple of days later. We had planned a date for when he was back, that one was cancelled because he fell asleep and didn’t message me until hours after. I hadn’t heard from him in more than a week and so I suggested that we part ways and wished him all the best.

Fast forward a month and a half later. He had travelled to visit family and I guess he assessed his priorities and wanted to reconnect but this time with promises of being better and making it up to me. We went out for a really great three course dinner and dressed up, the whole thing. We dated for about 3 weeks and it seemed to be going well. Then suddenly radio silence for a month. No messages or even comments on Instagram, he was gone. I moved on and was thriving and maybe that’s why he popped back up again. Again, saying that he wanted to be the end of this blog, he wanted to be the guy for me, and he didn’t want to end up just being LCD. One date and then 2 weeks of silence. LCD is out of chances.

There are plenty of memes and quotes online about getting back together when something didn’t work the first time. “They always come back” “Boyfriend or fuck off”.  I now know that I should not have encouraged him the second time and absolutely not the third time. This was a learning experience for me because I ended up disappointed and hurt way more than I needed to be. I ended it the first time because his behaviour wasn’t acceptable for me, and I should have held firm on my decision. It was the right decision, and I should have trusted myself. Ironically on the day that I’m posting this, a favourite podcast of mine called Girls Gotta Eat talked about “When Exes Come Back”. This summer I wont be going backwards, there are too many fish-holding men on the apps that I haven’t met yet. New Fuck Summer.

I’ve picked a brewery in Denver, Colorado called Mockery Brewing for this post. This brewery is in an industrial area in Denver and looks like a tin sided warehouse at first but there is an amazing mural on the side of a bear and a salmon and they have an excellent patio. Their beer was delicious and just the right level of experimental. Highly recommend you visit them if you’re ever in the Denver area.

Now that the world is opened back up, and a large number of people are vaccinated I thought it might be a good time to share some of my favourite date ideas and some I’d really like to try. These can be really fun first, second, third or 15th dates. I’ve also tried to focus on indoor dates since it’s becoming winter very quickly here.

I have to pay homage to the classic brewery experience and put it first on the list. Most breweries have a cool atmosphere and quality people watching. You usually have the option of getting a single beer or a flight and it’s fun to compare tasting notes. A number of breweries these days have live music of some kind so that creates a built in conversation starter. It also doesn’t have too many other distractions if the date is going really well and you are completely engrossed in each other. A few places I really like that have a good atmosphere are: R&B Brewing and (not a brewery but beer focused) Alibi Room in Vancouver, Camp Beer Co and Old Yale Brewing in the Fraser Valley, Moody Ales and Patina Brewing in the tri-cities. All of these breweries change their seasonal offerings along with core beers so going a few times, is worth it. As always, if you’re looking for a brewery in the BC, the best place to look is the BC Ale Trail website.

A really fun date idea I had a chance to experience recently was mini golf! It was a lot of fun. I am not a competitive person but I usually got for the competitive type guy, it can be flirty and silly, or you can take it very serious with bets and wagers. It isn’t normally expensive and you can typically do a game in an hour or two. There are two really fun mini golf courses in BC. The first is in Abbotsford at Castle Fun Park, (**due to recent extreme weather events Castle Fun Park is closed indefinitely**) they have three courses and two of them are indoors. The other is a seasonal course in Parksville (just outside of Nanaimo) called Paradise Fun Park.

The mini golf date gave me the idea of going to a driving range. I’ve never been myself and would love to go on this date (any offers?). It just looks fun! And similarly with mini golf, it can be made silly or furthest/worst drive buys drinks. Most driving ranges have covered areas and outdoor heaters.

I’ve had some fun dates lately and another was to an arcade. It was a bit uncomfortable at first with COVID considering you’re touching a lot of things but thankfully this arcade took that into consideration and had antiseptic wipes and sanitizer everywhere. It’s also mandated at the moment to wear masks indoors and everyone obliged. Turns out I am REALLY good at Skee Ball and pretty terrible at giant Connect Four. Would absolutely do an arcade date again.

I would consider myself a foodie person and I love a good meal. I try not to commit to a full dinner for a first date because you’re trapped while waiting for the server, food and the bill. But in Vancouver there is a company that puts together tasting tours. You sign up and get four to seven restaurants to go to and each has a little version of their signature dish. You can bow out whenever you want, eat as much as you want and you get to try a whole host of new restaurants. Last one I went on included a dosa restaurant that I had never tried. They also have themed tours like dumplings, vegan, or burgers.

If you’re feeling fancy and want to have a classy date, I would strongly recommend the local art gallery or an art exhibit. Recently the city hosted an immersive Van Gogh experience and it was incredible, with a Picasso version touring now too. There’s so much to see, read and comment on and it pairs nicely with some wine and perhaps charcuterie.

Piggybacking on the art gallery idea is to visit a museum. There are so many kinds! In Vancouver we have a museum for almost everything like the Museum of Anthropology, the Beatty Biodiversity Museum (my favourite), the HR McMillan Space Centre and the Vancouver Maritime Museum. There’s something for every interest and it is easy to talk about all the things you’re seeing if the conversation is lacking.

Last date idea, and to be honest I haven’t done it but really want to, the shooting range. For me personally, it would require the right person to happen but it’s been on my dating bucket list for a little bit. You couldn’t really talk much while doing it because you’re wearing hearing protection and it’s loud but the drink after would be fun I imagine. There is a range called DVC Ventures in Port Coquitlam in the Vancouver area. Along those lines could also be axe throwing, also in Port Coquitlam at Urban Axe Throwing.

Hopefully those are some cool indoor or weather conscious date ideas to branch out from the usual coffee or walk dates.

Have you ever fumbled in a social or dating situation? Where you’re left palm to face thinking “what on earth did I just do?!” Well I had one such moment recently. I want to share it as a cautionary tale.

I had been talking to this guy for a while and been on a few dates. We will call him Umbrella because in my phone I’ve saved his number with the emoji of an umbrella on a beach. Umbrella and I hadn’t seen each other in a bit of time because of travel and work etc. and I had a chance to meet up with him. I was so excited. I really really enjoy spending time with him, he loves listening to my long and detailed stories and he makes me feel good about myself. Well this particular date we were meeting after he finished work and he had a very early morning the next day and he said he wanted to be home early. I thought I wanted to maximize our time together and picked a place close by to meet. I shaved my legs, was dressed cute with my confident underwear on. Things were looking good. We had a drink and the conversation was easy and I was excited to get him home. My love language being gift giving, I had a couple of things for him at my place from a recent trip that I wanted to give him. I invited him over when he was dropping me off.

Here is where things go horribly and embarrassingly wrong for me. I had Umbrella in my place. He was flirty and even ended up on my bed. We lay down and talked about his work and honestly the whole time I was thinking “he has work early in the morning, how late does he want to be out? I don’t want to start anything and then he’ll be tired tomorrow, he said he wanted to be back at his place early”. We started making out and I wanted him to stay over so bad but my conscience knew he had to be up early. I basically pushed him out the door. It’s not at all what I wanted. I desperately wanted him to stay. I messaged him and it turns out that he wanted to stay too but the vibe I was giving off was to leave and mixed signals, which isn’t wrong. It’s not the first time I fumbled with Umbrella, this is just the most cringy.

You can face palm now on my behalf. I should have asked clearly for what I wanted. I should have said that I wanted him to stay. I should have been more “selfish”. I am really bad at asking for what I actually want and this was a painful example of that. I am always worried and over think that the person I am asking is going to be put out or inconvenienced in some way. And that goes for help with things like pet sitting, moving heavy items, not just in relationships. In this case, he was going to be tired the next day. I have some work to do personally because I’d like to feel more confident asking for things.

The beer suggestion I have for is also from a recent experience. I took a trip to Quesnel, BC (along the Northern BC Ale Trail) and visited the Barkerville Brewing Co. They are a cool spot right in the small town and have delicious beers. I had a flight, pictured above, and my favourite was Sluice Juice which is their current hazy pale ale. I chose to pair this beer with this story because a sluice is a gate device that controls the flow of water. I should have opened the gates a little bit and trusted the flow.

Finally, things are opening up and the dating apps are on fire! The apps are busy these days as people are eager for human contact and excited to be leaving their homes. I refreshed my photos, updated my vaccinated status and started swiping.

The last two months have been very busy, I’ve been on lots of dates, some better than others. The extrovert in me is so very happy to be meeting new people. These are the first few back out there, more to come!

Stone Mason was one of my first few matches, and it started out a little rocky (pun absolutely intended). He was very late in traffic and then even later trying to find parking. I managed three quarters of a beer before he arrived and then the poor guy forgot his wallet! It ended up a really good date though. We chatted about everything, got tacos and visited a few breweries. Overall a really good date. We went out a few more times for walks, drinks, dinners and made loose plans to try meat pies and go to a local pub but in the end it kind of fizzled.

I know that I probably should have saved Bricklayer Brewing for this story but I didn’t know I would meet a stone mason! So instead I will share a beer that I am loving this summer from Bridge Brewing. I tried the Tropical Prime Time with Stone Mason at the brewery and loved it so much it is now my summer park beer. It is a little bit sweet but really light and refreshing. And it’s low calorie, low carb, and not too high in alcohol content for when I’m already a bit sun drunk. Highly recommend trying it at either of their locations, the brewery tasting room itself or the Lonsdale Bridgedeck, both located in North Vancouver.

After that was a one-date wonder. Normally I will give guys two dates to work through nerves and perhaps an off day but this one I could not. He didn’t get a nickname either. I stopped for coffees and met him along the water at one of my favourite parks. He would not stop talking about his ex-wife and how terrible she was and how awful of a mother she was. It was exhausting listening to. I get exes can sometimes be source of stories and I have no issue with mentioning them in passing especially if there are kids involved but this was extreme. When he asked for a second date, I politely told him it was nice to meet him but I did not think it was going to work.

I thought it fitting that I share 3 Dogs Brewing in White Rock because he brought his misbehaving dog on the date which was the only real distraction from the ex stories. I can tell you that all of the beers I tried were delicious. The radler was sweet, the IPA was hoppy. My favourite and not because of the play on words with this story was the “Good Boy” hazy ale. Also check out their tap list, just full of dog related puns!

To finish up this round of stories, the story of AC, like air conditioning. I warned you about heat in the title and boy was it HOT. I was feeling hawt and hot and swiped on a few guys that were different for me. I swiped on one such guy and we decided to meet rather quickly, like within just a few hours of texting. We met at the park nearby and each brought drinks and chatted until the sun was long gone and I was being eaten by mosquitos. Turns out he was looking for something casual (please read about my history with “casual” in an earlier post) and I thought “why not?” and agreed. Well! Climate change really hit us hard and we were up to 40°C here and AC had…. Air conditioning. He offered a chance to cool down at his place and it was incredibly tempting. Sadly, we kept missing each other and I instead melted relying only on the Canadian Tire fans I had at home. It has cooled down a bit and I no longer need AC (either kind).

These are just a few of my experiences so far this summer. I have a few more stories coming very soon and I am swiping and liking to get more, within provincial health orders and guidelines of course.

We are going waaaay back to my first internet dating experience. I’m talking 16 years ago, before Bumble, Hinge and Tinder were a thing. I met “December” on Nexopia I think, for those of you old enough to remember that site. He was a year or two older, and was at college studying fire services in a small town, and somehow we matched or linked or whatever it was called way back then. We chatted a lot and it came easily. December was probably the most handsome male I had seen in my short life to that point so I was very excited to have his attention. He lived in my city full time but came and went for school, one such time in the summer when he was coming home to the area he suggested we meet. December suggested since we were internet strangers that I bring a friend along and we would go to his boat and watch the fire works happening that weekend. The three of us drove down to the yacht club where his family’s boat was moored and he had a whole thing planned! He had flowers for me and a flower for my friend, he had dinner arranged and for dessert he had prepared a chocolate fondue with strawberries. Keeping in mind we were all around 19 years old or so, this was extremely well planned and by far the most romantic date I had been on. He set the bar high for future matches. We dated throughout the summer and then he came to finish his schooling at the same college I was going to. In that time together we spent romantic nights on his boat, we drove around with my friends, spent countless nights at his place and we got a fish together. It was adorable and blissful. Being moody college students, something happened and we decided to part ways. A few years later we decided to go for coffee once but nothing ever came of it. To this day he is “the one that got away” for me.

Years later, he had long finished school, and I had moved to another city with my partner. The fire alarm went off in the building. It was a delivery truck that hit the sprinkler line at an ungodly hour and we packed downstairs. This happened once a month or so but every time we had to head downstairs just in case. On this particular time, who hops off the fire truck looking like a Greek God? Yep, December. He goes to save the building from the delivery truck and comes back to chat. My common-law husband, who is training to become a fire fighter, is watching my brain fall out of my head while talking to this career fire fighter in our city. That wasn’t the only time I had run into him, December was collecting donations for the Fire Fighters Burn Fund at the Christmas train we have in town. Thankfully this time I was looking good and had my wits about me and I was single (he was not) but also with my mother. Another time he had to rescue my building again from a burning toaster oven on Christmas Eve.

I have chosen to call him December not because I ran into him at the Christmas train, but because just a few years ago he was featured in the fire fighter calendar. Yes, when I say he is built like a Greek God, I was not kidding. He is also the start of my very long and very passionate love affair with first responders. Since him, I have dated a number of fire fighters, a fire chief, a few police officers, and a search and rescue technician.  And you can bet if I hear sirens, I will perk up like a goffer out of a hole.

There are two beers I would like to showcase with this story. The first being an obvious choice the Heroica Red Ale from Steamworks Brewery. Steamworks Brewery is a well known Vancouver brewery that has brew pubs with delicious food but they also have really well done and easily accessible beers. One such beer is the Heroica Red Ale which features a fire fighter on the bottle of course. I am not usually a red ale fan but this one is delicious, it’s incredibly smooth and not too sweet.

The second beer I thought would be fitting because we met on his sail boat and he’s blonde. The Bastion Blonde from White Sails Brewing is one of my favourite beers. It is light and easy to drink and will please any beer drinker. It was also the 2019 Canadian Brewing Award Silver Medalist in the Blonde Ale category. They have a number of delicious beers but this one is my favourite. White Sails Brewing is located on Vancouver Island in a city called Naniamo and if you are on the island I highly recommend you stop in or buy a four pack. You can also look them up on the BC Ale Trail site with a few other island friends.

The world of dating has changed so much with the invention of the dating apps. Quick and varying levels of companionship is easier than ever to find (save for COVID). With a few swipes, you can have a date and a fun evening without strings.

I am usually the girl that falls hard and fast for guys. My poor friends have to help me mend a broken heart more often than not. That being said, it may be surprising to know that I have had a few one-night stands or at least attempts and have tried the new trend of “casual dating”.

My first one-night stand was a disaster! I was young and angry with a bartender boyfriend who broke up with me so I found the hottest guy in the bar I could find and started making out and eventually brought him home. I sincerely hoped I would never see him again, waved him goodbye and off he went. For a week or two, and then he showed up at the bar and again he came home with me, now he was no longer a one-night stand. I was already terrible at this. Eventually his friends met my friends and in the end two couples happened. We were in the wedding party of both weddings. Not a great start to this casual thing.

My next attempt was in university and I had improved somewhat in my casual skills. It only happened one time but he lived in my building on campus so I had to see him a lot. Would not recommend.

Skip ahead to current times with dating apps and swiping and “looking for” sections. I appreciate a guy that puts that he is looking for something casual on his profile, sets us up nicely for expectations. It gets even more clear when they put it in the written section. Thank you to all the guys that do that!

I matched with a guy on Hinge in my early dating days, which is typically where people go for more substance, and our date was great. We started at drinks and it was going so well that we moved onto some food at a second location. I had heard about these dates but up to this point, I had never been on one! He eventually told me that he was not looking for a relationship and could not commit at the time. I was looking for something more serious so it kind of finished up there but we kept in touch on social media and a few years later we reconnected in DMs (for the older folks in the crowd that means direct message) for something casual and he’s still around. Do not discount those DM slides.

I have used Bumble twice for casual fun and the first time was reckless and I would not do it like that again. It ended up ok thankfully, but it could have easily ended with my organs being sold on the black market. I swiped on a very attractive pilot who was on a layover (this is pre-COVID). Just a day or two in town before heading back out, perfect! We met at a pub near where he was staying and went back to his room. No one knew where I was, who was with, what I was doing, and I had matched with him and met him in less than 2 hours. I have never seen or heard from him since, I hope he is well. Finally, a successful one-night stand! But ladies, stay woke! Make sure someone knows where you are!! I wish I had told a friend, even if she judged me (she probably would not) someone would have known where I was and that I was ok.

My second attempt at a casual one-night stand on Bumble was not as clear cut as I was expecting. His profile was honest about being in town for just a short period and he had all my kryptonite in one casual bundle. From his job to his watch. We met for a drink and the chemistry was off the charts! We went to his room and I fully expected to leave either later or the next morning and never see or talk to him again. I emotionally prepared myself for it. He suggested we stay in touch and while I have not seen him since, we do still talk and he is still the complete package of all my dating weaknesses.

I am not the greatest at casual one-night stands, I know that. Based on the attempts above, I think I am actually kind of terrible at it. I applaud those who can be in casual things, just hook up, or do the friends with benefits. In an attempt to go with the flow of the dating world these days, where there is far less commitment and more grey area. Here are some things I’ve found useful when trying to be casual: setting, communicating and holding boundaries, keeping your mind out of the future, and leaving the apps open. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with casual and no one will get hurt so long as everyone is completely open and honest about their feelings.

A brewery that plays with my heart in a casual way is Strathcona Beer Company. Strathcona Beer Company can be found as part of the Yeast Vancouver Ale Trail on BC Ale Trail’s site. They have a great selection of core beers and have something for everyone, but Love Buzz is by far my favourite and it is fickle. They change the flavour of this delicious sour regularly so you cannot get too attached to one and if you do, it disappears leaving you heart broken, and the next one is just as good or better! Some of my notable flavours are the Imperial Blood Orange Sour, the Strawberry Grapefruit and the one they have on right now Tangerine Creamsicle Sour.

I took the opportunity to write this edition while actually at a brewery since I’m talking a lot about beer and why not write live on location! I matched with “Brewery” on Hinge and the conversation was easy. He was a sales rep for a brewery so how could I not match with him?! We decided to meet pretty quickly because the conversation was going really well. We met and our first pick brewery was busy and he was really easy going about switching to another one for a drink. The conversation in person was just as easy as it had been on the app and by text. We had so much in common! A love of beer, good plant parent, and a fan of baseball, and the food scene in Vancouver, and the list kept going. We were out for a few hours and having a wonderful time. Then Brewery sprung on me that the adorable dog on his profile was in his truck!! I was going to meet a dog! How could this date get any better? His dog was so cute and she and I liked each other instantly.

We dated for about a month and we ate delicious food and drank wonderful beers (keep reading for recommendations). Our taste in beer and dining was completely in sync. We had the same opinions about politics going on at the time, we agreed on COVID rules, we both loved travel and had the same style when it came to travel. Our sense of humour was too similar. He did not bug me for taking dorky photos of beers and food, and he waited patiently while I did a photo shoot with his choices too. I even told him about all of you and the blog, he was supportive and interested.

So why did we part ways? We were TOO similar. I was accurately guessing his reactions and we agreed on everything, like everything. I know this could sound like a dream in some cases, but I felt like there was no healthy tension, no deep conversation. The worst part is we are both in sales and so the charming, outgoing, flirty banter was too much and probably gross to watch from the outside. Can you imagine witnessing a date that is going TOO well, it is almost a sales call? I decided to call it when I realized that we were too similar for it to work long term. It ended amicably and if I see him out in the world it would a pleasant surprise.

Now for the beers! I wont be highlighting any beers from his brewery to protect his identity, also because its one of the few breweries I have not yet visited in British Columbia.

The first brewery I want to share is Twin City Brewing Company in Port Alberni. This small town between Nanaimo and Tofino on Vancouver Island, that most people pass right through, has my favourite brewery of all time! They started out with just growler fills and kegs but when the pandemic started they invested in a canning line and I could not have been happier. They have seasonal rotators but their staples are . My favourite core beer of theirs is the Swedish Gymnast which is a single-hopped blonde ale. And I love a good pun! I should also mention this is my favourite beer I’ve tried to date. They also make a delightful sour called High Wire that mixes vanilla and passion fruit so it’s not too tart.

Another favourite brewery for me is Bright Eye Brewing in Kamloops. They are located on the North Shore of Kamloops and its worth crossing the bridge from downtown for a visit. Their list of beers is always rotating, and they always have really well-balanced beers. They also have a great menu, a great patio and a bright dining room, so be sure to stop for lunch, dinner or some of their delicious snacks while you’re grabbing your beer.

Both of these breweries can be found as part of the Vancouver Island Ale Trail Part 2 and the Kamloops, Shushwap, Vernon and Merritt Ale Trail respectfully on the BC Ale Trail website. They can easily be combined with other breweries for a full tour of their areas! Currently BC is under strict travel orders, so please be respectful of these smaller cities and communities, and take this time to plan your trips instead of visiting for now.

Trigger Warning: Violence and sexual assault

I struggled with this story and if I should write it or not. I thought about the consequences of posting this story and I thought about the man in the story and if people would figure out who he was if I said too much. The worst feeling was the thought that someone somewhere reading this might think that I’m weak, or stupid, or naïve, or that I provoked him. I hate that those were my thoughts. After the death of Sarah Everard in the UK, I read a statistic (apologies for not remembering the source) that 97% of women have been sexually assaulted. Even if that statistic was exaggerated or inflated, if even 1% of women have had those experiences, it is too high.

As with most of my dating adventures, I matched with “Trusted Member of the Community” who we will call “TMC”, on a dating app. Handsome, great job, muscles, check check check! Normally I like to talk for a bit before meeting, but he was really keen to meet after just a day, and I am a huge fan of a man in uniform so I thought why not?! He lives in a city about half an hour away and he agreed to meet me somewhere close to my place. I NEVER give my address or even describe my building to strangers, just the general area. We met at a local chain restaurant for a drink. I did my usual safety checks, my friend knew where I was, who I was with (although I had very little information about him) and a designated check in time.

We sat down in a booth and he ordered a double vodka soda and I ordered a mixed cocktail from the menu. His was gone before I had a chance to stir mine. The server came over and asked if we wanted to order anything else and he got himself another. The conversation was usual first date conversation, I found out a bit about his family and a lot about his job. The server came by again and he ordered another double and this time ordered another round for me. I declined but he insisted. The server that night was a hero. What she brought me was not the same cocktail, it looked like it, but it tasted like soda water with a bit of slush on top, non-alcoholic. Again, before I had a chance to even start my drink he had finished and was looking for the server for another. At this point the conversation started changing. He asked if we were going to get another round or head back to my place. I said that I was not interested in sleeping with someone on a first date, that really is not my style. TMC then tried to convince me that he was a “trusted member of the community” and he was completely trustworthy. He could even show me the badge, he had it in the car. I still declined and his next attempt at convincing me involved telling me how hard I made him, grabbing my foot from under the table, sticking it between his legs and thrusting into it. I yanked my foot back and tucked them both under the booth as far as I could. I decided that it was time to leave and asked the server for the bill. I insisted on paying for my drinks but when he saw that I was only charged for one he got incredibly upset. He whisper yelled at me that I shouldn’t have invited him to drive all that way, suggested a drink, allowed him to get drunk and then wouldn’t offer him a place to stay. At this point TMC had had four strong drinks and I will be honest, there is no way I was going to let a drunk man that was a foot taller and built like a bodybuilder, anywhere near my apartment. We walked out of the restaurant and got out of the doorway and he grabbed me. He grabbed both of my upper arms with such force that I could feel each finger digging into me. In the quick movement I put my arms up and ended up with my arms pinned to my chest. He then slammed his face into mine. I would normally call this a “kiss”, but it was violent and angry, and I don’t think that word applies. His lips hit mine so hard that he split my lip in two places. I squirmed and squealed and tried to get away, but he had such a grip on me. Thankfully someone was walking their dog, I don’t remember the person at all but the dog was little and puffy. They asked if we were alright and that was enough of a distraction that he let go enough for me to pop out and I started running. I ran in the opposite direction of my home because I had no idea if he was following me or not. I hid behind a dumpster in a building near mine and called my friend hysterical. I waited and he had not followed me. I got a text from him and immediately blocked and deleted it.

I got home and had blood all over my mouth and chin, and I had bruises on my arms from each of his fingers. I went back to the restaurant a few days later and told the manager that that server saved me and I wanted to thank her. I also wish I could thank the pedestrian that walked by. I reported TMC on the app and I have only seen him pop up once since and I reported him again. I have also told my friends about him and suggested that they at least left swipe if they see him, if not report. Some of you may be asking why I never reported him to the police or to his employer and I do not have a completely straight answer. It is a mix of embarrassment that I “let” this happen to me, the fear that his word would be stronger than mine, and that maybe I was too smiley or too chatty on the app in the day leading up to meeting him that gave him the wrong idea. Even writing this, I am uncomfortable and nervous.

The experience kept me off the apps for a period. I am actively dating, and I am still on the apps and meeting people. I know that there are great men out there, but I also know that there are not great ones too. I have always been careful; I am a small female and I know that I can be overpowered easily so I try my hardest to avoid situations that put me at risk. I follow my safety rules on each and every date. I also insist on talking to someone long enough to get a sense of them before meeting. If a man has an issue with chatting for a few extra days, having my check in with a friend halfway through the date, or someone knowing where I am and who I’m with, they are not the right one for me.

I do not have a beer recommendation for this one due to the content but will be posting a beer heavy story next!